She’s 3 feet and 5 inches tall. She has black hair with 2 very peppy pony tails. She is a gnome. Not a lawn gnome or a travelocity gnome but a gnome of war. She grew up in Lawrence Kansas which happens to be the birth place of the worlds most illustrious collegiate NCAA Division 1A Basketball team the Kansas Jayhawks. Wootbeer was given her birth name by sheer luck. Who cannot deny the pure beauty of combining “Woot” which is among the few choice words of the gods when they are in joyous celebrations with “Beer” to which these gods drink, drank drunk for eons. Combined they made the perfect combo for this little one named “Wootbeer”.
Brought up during the Clinton Years (Hillary…not Bill) and going to public schools, Woot quickly realized her potential for being a Tank. The streets of Lawrence aren’t always being marched upon down Mass St. with the Rainbow Coalition or Gay Rights crowd. No…the mean streets of Lawrence are filled with drunken 6th year college students filled with as much angst and entitlement as any illegal alien crossing the border into the U.S.A. Woot was picked on for her pint size… constantly. Challenged by height she overcame these obstacles of ridicule by using it to her advantage. Ever see a Jack Russell on Red Bull? I have and it ain’t pretty. Wootbeer was soo quick and agile she was able to Dodge anyone’s attacks. She was a blur and still is, depending on what food she eats. Once she established the reputation of being someone…a gnome-someone not to be messed with things went smoothly…for awhile.
She grew up spiritually with full support from her parents to read, discuss, research and attend all religions, her parents thought it best to be open minded when it comes to one’s soul. In the end she followed the path of science. Agnostic. She believes in a higher being but needs some type of proof…she believes in the soul but not damnation or any terms of ‘hell’. She believes in people and herself, seems good enough to Wootbeer which is good enough for me, the author.
Graduating in the lower half of her High School class of 1989…..(to be continued…it’s a work in below amateurish writing…bubblegum for infants….)