Lose weight get a hernia

So a few weeks ago I was rough housing with our 3 dogs. Yes, 3. We acquired the last 2 , 1- Pomeranian and the other a Schnauser by way of my wifes work. She works in Assisted living where residences die on a regular basis from old age or what have you. This particular facility isn’t run by Medicare but rather, private. What that means is the residences can have their life long pets come live with them provided they aren’t aggressive. Well, my wife is the female Dr. Doolittle with animals. Having made connections to said dogs their owners would pass away, their immediate family members didn’t want to take them or there was no more family members. Enter Mrs. Dr. Doolittle Knight.


So I’m rastlin with all 3 (3rd is our Miniature Poodle) and I’m on all fours (no homo or no beastiality) and I ‘growl’ in a deep baritone voice at them and all of a sudden my belly button area feels a ‘POP!’. A gushy kinda ‘pop’. As if I had a mini ALIEN inside me or one of those MATRIX metal bug devices like Keanu had. I stood up, and as I did something moved again and I felt pressure. I felt around and noticed my belly button was ‘looser’. Meaning as I would normally pull lint out of my belly it was tight (that would be the excess fat wanting to push out…). It freaked me out and when my wife came home she explained it maybe a hernia.

I always associated hernias with old people. Guess what? I’m semi- old. But after some research hernias are not only common but affect ANY aged person. I recall the scene in ‘Sixteen Candles’ where they’re all eating dinner with the grandparents and talk of Long Duc Dong mowing the yard because of ‘Grandpa’s Hyena”.

So, I let it pass and notice it more and more especially with me laughing hard. I laugh a lot it seems and this ‘movement’ in mahbelly reminds me just how much.

I decided, with the support of my wife’s encouragement to go get it checked out. Seems I have a pre-hernia (inguinal) condition caused by my loss of 16-20 lbs over the past 3 months. My fatness cradled my lower insides like a mother cradling her newborn. Cept my newborn is intestines and stuff. My inner lining muscles walls are ‘weak’ from being a fat fuck for the past 15 years so when the cradle was lost my guts or intestines got loose. It’s only a pre-hernia as the ‘bulge’ is rather small is easily remedied by my continual exercise and increase my stomach muscles. I can still do normal things but not super targeted high impact (like I ever would….) on my ab area.

Doc gave me a 30 second grats  or SQUIRRELL!!! about losing said weight and I explained how since he asked. I gave him the short version; if it tastes reaaaallly good I can’t eat it. If it’s ‘white’ I can’t eat it. I lovingly call it the ‘Anti-HONKY Lifestyle’. He LOL’d.

Lastnight my wife and I worked out together, as with us PWNING the Smoking habit, it’s best for couples to do things that require focus and attention TOGETHER. I know if only one of us quit smoking it wouldn’t have worked. Same thing applies to this. I just wish WoW would re-capture her attention and play along side me and our small group of casuals in TOS. =) She awaits StarCraft 2 patiently.

We spent an hour at the gym and ended the night by running and walking just over 2 miles. I couldn’t catch her on our sprints. That’s from years of men chasing after her…. I noticed at the end of our lap sprints that it was getting progressivley harder for me to run with a steady pace. Scratch that,  I wasn’t ‘runnning’ I was jogging. Let’s not kid ourself. However, I also noticed my recovery time was much faster. I attribute this to the X-Factor in me…like Weapon X Wolverine…that, and I take the 4 flights of stairs in our office building every morning. Those last flights are getting easier. I’m looking forward to ‘joggin’ 2 miles without walking. Small steps sparks…small steps.

As we left the gym we treated ourselves to some SMOOTHIE KING health shakes. 2 shakes , 1 small 1 med = $12.58 No one ever said living healthy was cheap*. Mine was a delicious Strawberry, Kiwi, Low Fat hers was a Raspberry Sunrise Relaxation drink, low fat. Stopping by WAI WAI we sat down at enjoyed super fresh food. Mmmm Tasty…sans the HUGE BLOB of white rice on our plates (white = bad)…it ended up being a very good night.

We listened and watched Obama’s speech and gave our Mystery Science 3000 comments along the way (this is the Politico portion of my blog…so if you don’t like politics i’d go to HULU.com and watch something.).  We (wife) discussed the pitfalls of being President in this day and age. The normal and abnormal use of being a hypocrit. Obama was handed shit but it wasn’t all Bush, it was a cumalative effect of several administrations going far back as Reagan. Years if self interest run amuck.

I think they need to hold the applause til the end. Don’t pan to the audience seeing reactions. Move Nancy Pelosi the FUCK off the stage where she can’t be seen. Just our President by himself talking in plain speak to the Union. The amount of time wasted on the clapping could be used to bullet point HOW he we change things. The broad strokes annoy me to no end. Explain HOW you will accomplish things. If you leave it open ended it’s subject to ANY outcome. Overall I was pleased, granted it’s all talk but at this point what else is there? My cynicism can only run so deep. I do look forward to the talking points coming to fruition of our troops back in the USA from Iraq by Summer’s end. That, to me was the best part of last night’s speech. If he can do that I believe that will give him 4 more years.

I tried to listen to the Republican response but as soon as the dood made a joke about his son’s only listening to him for 10 minutes before they left to watch ‘Sportscenter’ I muted it and listend to Bjork while I DPS’d a Heroic on SeanCassidy. Which, btw i averaging 3800 dps depending on which instance. Not bad for a 70’s Icon.



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