The waitress at Tanners (119th and 69 HWY)

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Not our waitress. If it was this post would be moot.

I didn’t bother to read your name tag…do they even have name tags? To those 4 who read this blog and aren’t in the KC Metro and Greater area we have a small chain of Bar & Grills called “Tanners“. It’s accolades are only local. It’s a “Kansas Jayhawk” leaning sports bar with the requisite TV’s, Specials, Pool Tables and the lot. Typical imo.

They do have some decent burgers and specials are below normal averages.

This small rant of no real significance is about the staff. This is not the first time I’ve gone there for lunch/dinner and had issues.

This time I met my wife for a ‘quick’ lunch before she jet sets to Dallas for a day. Our waitress visit’s us a few mins after we settle in. (good). She mentions the special as told to do so (good). We order water and she leaves. About 5 mins. later she takes our order. I get the BOOGA Bacon Bleu medium, wife gets the special, Open Faced Roast Beef – Served with Mashed Potatoes & Veggie of the Day. It’s almost 1 p.m. We got time.

15 mins pass. I look around and see our waitress I’ll call “Bell” is hugging some customers one by one. She chats a good 5 mins by the door. I see other orders go out. Not sure if they were here before us. Another 5 mins pass and now she’s chatting it up with another table. Never going back to ‘check’ on our food. My wife notices my edgyness and impatience *see Patience post* She turns to the bartendar but I stop her mid sound in throat.

A small blond – let’s call her Tiffany, walks out of the back with our order. Our waitress is still chatting and now sitting down with some fellas. Food looks great! I ask if it had been sitting back there and she blinks here heavily mascara eyes and words trip out of her mouth as I just asked a direct question. She replies with a “Nope, they just came up.” She blinks deliberately at me for a good 3-4 seconds. See, most of the JoCo waitresses are not here for tact, logic, common sense, they are here to look good serving OK food. Nothing more. Nothing less.

If one interrupts their inner chi of looking good/strutting you will be the highlight of their 4 hour shift. As I’m talking with my wife I see Bell walk to the back and in hushed tones the two discuss what a prick I am. Luckily I already have my meal infront of me. Bell comes by and does one of my 3 rules you don’t do when your serving me (no homo). She asks how the food is. I haven’t even touched the food. I say “Looks Great, but is there a reason why the food took nearly 30 mins?”. Blinks ensue. Mouth Open. She’s trying to formulate a sassy but not so sassy response because how dare a customer question her!?!

Mouth still agape. (never used that word ever in a structured sentence). She says “30 minutes really?” “Sorry”. Still staring at me wanting me to brush off the small incident I reply with “It’s ok, I was just wondering”. She gives a shrug and says sorry once more. I bend my fork into a “L” shape. My wife says “It’s ok we have our food now…”

I see her go back to what looks to now be a summit of bimbos by the back area of the bar. Hushed whispers and glances. She comes back, walking in confident strides with our ticket.

“You only waited about 23 minutes, as soon as you gave me your order I put it in the system.” “It was at 1 p.m.”. I look at my phone and look back up and reply with a “I see.” She then touches my shoulder and apologizes once more with no effort concealing her hate for me. She must think mooks who are ‘touched’ by her will simply forgive an forget.

It’s now 1:49.

I chuckle to my wife as our server almost skips back to her post of girls in waiting to see what I said. I gave no such pleasure. It’s not worth it. Vanity based girls are only interested in themselves and it’s fruits of labor of looking good. Tips. And flirting.

I leave $2.00 cash. I refuse to leave a signed tip for fear of Debit Card retribution. I’ve had similar instances at Tanner’s where the bimbos double dip. The bill was $14.something.

My 3 rules of servitude in an eatery are:

1. Do not ever interrupt the customers conversation. Politely wait for them to stop talking. This is easily done by simply standing there quietly. If you do interrupt I will continue to talk even if whomever I’m talking to is now focused on the server.

2. Don’t ever ask If I want change back. If you do ask you won’t get but loose change IF I even have any.

3. Always keep drinks filled. Empty cups mean your not paying attention.

3A. If I’m done eating remove the damned plate(s) from the table ASAP!

I can state these rules for several reasons besides being a timely prick. I waited table for a number of years. I’ve earned my wings slingin blue plate specials and tap water and getting no tips from cheap ass customers. Dealt with mean spirited hostess and cooks who piss in your soup.

OK. That’s my rant of no consequence for the week.

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